Love Is Love

art, Leila Mekhdiyeva, story

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Story by Leila Mekhdiyeva

Illustration by Mila Khan

It was the middle of summer. The sun was shining bright and making the weather too hot to be outside. Two young ladies walked into a bookstore, chatting about all those unimportant things that take so much space in young women’s lives. At least, that’s what one of the girls was thinking at that very moment. Her name was Mary. She was 19 years old, had beautiful brown eyes, long curly ginger hair and a critical mind that would always make her feel miserable. She was trying to understand more than the rest of her friends. She was overthinking every single situation in her head to see things more clear. It is what was making her seem too critical and judgmental in the eyes of Estelle, her friend with whom she came to the bookstore.

Estelle was two years older than Mary; she was turning 21 next month. And it was her birthday party that they were discussing when they walked into the bookstore few minutes earlier. Estelle was a green-eyed blond girl and was an absolute opposite of Mary. It was making their friendship look so weird from the outside, but the reason why these two were together was that they were school friends long before their personalities were fully developed. They met at arts school when Mary was five and Estelle was seven. They both were taking painting classes there, and at that time Mary was so excited to have a friend in the new place, who also seemed funnier than the rest of kids there.

Mary was absolutely in love with painting. She was a shy girl who could express herself fully through her art works – her paintings. She was very talented, passionate about art, a living in her own reality kind of girl. And she was loyal. Too loyal to see that after so many years of friendship, she and Estelle were too different to understand each other. For example, this very moment Mary was thinking about finding Pablo Neruda’s poetry book because that was the reason they had come to the bookstore in the first place. Estelle, on the other hand, was talking about Chris, the guy she fell in love with last month. Estelle was one of those girls who would fall in love every single month, believing that this time it is it – the real love. “I am just a hopeless romantic. What else can I say?” She was always saying.

“Finally!” Mary said with excitement in her voice, when she finally found Pablo Neruda’s poetry book.

“I know, right! I told him that I was always waiting for a guy like him,” said Estelle.

“What? Oh, no, I meant I finally found Pablo Neruda’s book.”

Mary looked at Estelle, at her long blond hair which was shining like the sun, and then her eyes, big green eyes, full of joy and delight. Mary always saw in Estelle that unique beauty that the rest couldn’t see. None of all those guys whom Estelle ever dated knew how lucky they were to have her. Mary’s thoughts were interrupted by Estelle’s voice.

“Haha, Mary, Mary. You never listen to me,” Estelle shook her head and said. “All right, what’s there?”

“It is the collection of his poems. Look, – she opened a random page and started reading the first four lines she saw there, – “…. I am keeping the name of a woman I barely knew locked up: it’s in a box and now and then I pick out the syllables that are rusted and creak like rickety pianos….” Mary read those lines with the special encouragement mixed with passion in her voice. Those lines were very special ones for Mary. She wondered how perfectly well they described what she felt, but could never say out loud.

“You still do that, don’t you?” Estelle looked at her with a smile on her face.

“Do what?” Mary was curious to know if Estelle knew something.

“You ask a certain question in your head, and then you open a random page and read the first sentence you see there. Ah, Mary, you are such a fatalist.”

“It is better than being a hopeless romantic,” she said out loud and immediately regretted that she did.

“Excuse me?”

“Look, I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

“Hurt my feelings? What do you know about my feelings? You never listen to anything that I am saying.”

“Because I already know everything that you want to say, Estelle! It is always the same story only with different characters every single month. Stop being so stupid, damn it!” Mary was too angry.

“So you think I am stupid? I am stupid because real life interests me more than art world? I am stupid because you are the talented and smart one, is that how you think? Then why the hell do you even spend your precious time with me, miss Perfection?”

“Because I love you.”

And she wasn’t lying.

 

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I Just Wanted to Let You Know

Leila Mekhdiyeva, thoughts

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When I just moved to Prague and had to taste all pros and cons of living abroad alone, dealing with adults’ lives’ difficulties, my Dad told me once the phrase that I keep reminding myself whenever I feel like giving up. “Life will always be difficult. It is just the way things are. What you can do is accept it and keep going, because it will never get easier. You will always have to face difficulties and to deal with changes. So all you have to do is keep going no matter what, just so you’ll keep up with your life. But if you wanna go further, you have to go faster, as fast as you can.”

I look back at past two and a half years of my life and I keep asking myself if I’m on the right way, if what I am doing is what I was meant to do, if who I am becoming is who I was meant to be. And I still have no idea. I always imagined that when I will grow up (and as I’m 22 now I guess I already did grow up), I will have my life figured out, I will have something to be proud of, I will achieve my childhood dreams, etc. Right now, as hard as it is for me to claim this, I am nowhere near. I am a mess, but at least I have enough guts to admit that; I am confused and I still have no clue what is my purpose on Earth.

And that is why I write. I write all of these words right here, right now, just because that’s what I know how to do, and that’s what I have been doing, frankly, ever since I learned how to write, but more professionally for the last three years of my life. I look back at the time I have spent at uni getting my bachelor’s degree in journalism and communications, and all I can remember are my sleepless nights with coffee and my laptop, writing all of those essays, papers and short stories that I had to write for all of my classes. I still have one semester left, which by the way starts this Thursday, and after that I will only have my thesis in spring. And I have no idea what I am going to do after that, but I feel that I need to be more active here and to use my platform to use my voice.

They say there are no shortcuts to success, and now more than ever I get it. There is so much left unsaid, unheard, unseen from what people get to see when it comes to successful stories and people. There are so many sleepless nights, amounts of coffee, stress, pain and loneliness that no one gets to acknowledge, but that is what is making your success so bittersweet and great.

As I already mentioned, I am writing because that’s all I know how to do. Don’t know whether it is a talent, or just the skill that you learn, but when I am writing it does not feel like I am writing, it feels natural and calming. What I am now trying to learn is how to do it more publicly. I guess, it makes sense since it is my job (duh). That is the reason why I decided to change this website’s concept – from personal style blog, that I started when I was 16, into a website where I will publish my articles, short stories, thoughts, anything that involves an act of writing itself.

I don’t want to pretend someone I no longer am, and that is why I decided to grow. To admit that that I am not who I was anymore (even if sometimes I wish I was the same, because all these changes feel weird right now), and to move on.

I just decided to finally go faster in order to go further.

Ready for Summer

Czech Republic, daily outfit, Europe, fashion, Leila Mekhdiyeva, look of the day, Prague, shopping, spring, summer

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(SheIn playsuit, Michael Kors watch)

Few days ago I received an amazing parcel from SheIn.com . “And what was inside that parcel?” one might ask. Well, it was this floral summer playsuit that makes me want summer even more now. I can already see myself out and about in Prague (or whatever else I might go this summer), styling this playsuit with some accessories – a purse, sandals, sunglasses and maybe a hat? Anyways, I couldn’t wait anymore and wanted to show you this new feminine thing in my closet as soon as I possibly could. So here it is.

If you feel the summer vibes already and want to buy this same playsuit for yourself, just click here.

Let your May days be awesome!

Love, Leila.

LM Book Club #2

books, France, Leila Mekhdiyeva, Paris

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“Hello. It’s Me”.

I think, this is how I should probably start this post as it’s been a while since the last time that I updated my blog. Nevertheless, I’m back with the 2nd part of LM Book Club.

This time I have a special fashion book to write about. It’s “How To Be Parisian Wherever You Are”. Some of you either have already read it or have definitely heard of it before. But as I promised myself to share books worth reading here, on my blog, I couldn’t help but write about this book as well.

When I say that this book is such a great source of inspiration, trust me, I really mean it. If you have always admired the style of Parisian ladies or just Paris in general (just like me), then this book will 100 % become one of your favorite ones. Of course, you shouldn’t expect anything more than self-irony from cool-ass stylish French women, but they are so good with explaining all the details of French style, and lifestyle in general, through this ironic way of writing, that you will have the time of your life while reading it. Not to mention the visual part of the book – all the pictures there are just MAGNIFIQUE .

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Hope that now you will finally decide to grab your copy of “How To Be Parisian Wherever You Are”. Because after doing so, you’ll get that sense of French style, that will guide you in this crazy world of fast-changing fashion trends.

Love, Leila.